Whenever there’s a storm, open both doors
A character on the PBS show “Call the Midwife” was a former prisoner of war and was talking to a midwife who had been put in an internment camp when she was nine years old and had to watch her mother and sister they died little by little from various causes. abuse and hunger She realized that the midwife harbored ghosts from her past in her present and told her that her mother always opened the front and back doors of her house when there was a storm. The reasoning I had given him as a child was that this way, any misery from the storm could not find a home. would explode
This got me thinking about how many remnants of past and present negative emotional experiences we hold on to, especially because we are not taught to open both “doors” so that the remnants do not find a home within us, by others who never do. they learned it or never discovered it for themselves. Because of this, we tend to let these squatters of negative or traumatic emotions settle inside us. We welcome them as the criminals they are. We feed them as if they were paying visitors rather than intruders, they are our joy and peace. We are the ones paying to let them stay.
Most of us are familiar with the quote “This too shall pass,” but we usually take this to mean that the experience will eventually end. We can make it better and decide that it also means we have to allow our negative attachment to the experience to pass through us as well. Otherwise, the experience doesn’t really end for us, does it? We keep it alive. We repeat the story to ourselves and others, perhaps over and over again. We dredge it up or surface whenever we are triggered in a particular way, as if a thought we have rushes to a filing system for evidence justifying why we have a right to feel the way we do. , when we are in fact, what it means is that there is a wound that needs to be healed.
How we treat ourselves results in us not loving and approving of ourselves as fully as we should. We feed low self-esteem or false arrogance and/or behaviors that do not serve us or bring us joy, peace or fulfillment. We feel less, so we expect less. We don’t feel whole. We wear our past like a garment, brush our teeth with it, instead of embracing our present and anticipating our future from a positive perspective, mindset and state of being.
The way we treat others as a result is often with an undercurrent of anger, frustration or fear. We react to them more often, perhaps, than we don’t engage and make a real connection with them. We don’t trust ourselves, we project them. We don’t trust ourselves, because they are projected onto us, whether we realize it and are uncomfortable with the reflected image, or we don’t realize it and blame them for how we continue to feel, sometimes long after a negative experience. it happened.
How we respond to life as a result, we don’t trust life. We don’t believe or allow ourselves to believe that life loves and supports us, and this mindset prevents life from fully reflecting love and support as an experience. We don’t hesitate to take calculated risks and stretch ourselves so that we can learn and grow and expand our awareness and our experiences. We hold back from our authenticity and fulfillment.
In Dave Markowitz’s book Self Care for the Self-Aware: A Guide for Highly Sensitive People, Empaths, Intuitives, and Healers, which, by the way, is an excellent book for anyone who needs to deal with grief and negativity, includes a technique called Keyhole. It’s a similar technique to the two open doors philosophy of the POW character. Dave realized that when we are in the midst of negative energy, or know we will be, the energy will enter us energetically (explains why energy shields are not as effective as we would like or hope). This energy then becomes trapped within us.
This is not an exaggeration. Just think about the last time you were with someone negative and how you felt during and after that interaction, possibly for a long time. Their negativity was absorbed and carried by you, unless you use an effective technique to prevent it or to release it. Dave even states that it is important not to let the negative energy touch the sides of the keyhole, i.e. touch you in any way. The negative storm moves through your keyhole without touching you, without any of it crushing you. This is a valuable image.
In life, “pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” So many around us practiced holding on and allowing emotional suffering to take hold of them that we couldn’t help but absorb this as a natural way of being and behaving. We feel bad about ourselves or feel like we’ll be judged as a bad person if we don’t do life this way, until, of course, we learn better.
Maybe this image can help you. Do this the next time you feel triggered, or you can deliberately choose some emotional energy to get rid of now. Imagine this emotional energy as a bit or pile of debris on the floor of the hallway that connects to the front and back doors of your home (your inner self). You go to the back door and open it. You go to the front door and open it, aside. You invite the Great Breath of Source to blow every bit of this debris out the back door and into the ethers, which Source is happy to do for you as an act of love and total support for you. Every bit of this hallway is now shiny and clean. Your ideal experience, and it may take more than one such cleansing, is that what once triggered or inhibited you is a mere memory that no longer holds your attention for more than a brief moment. second, if so.
I realize this is good advice, but not necessarily easy to put into practice, especially if you’ve had a lifelong habit of taking on negativity and not knowing exactly how to deal with it. It’s especially hard to remember when you’re in the middle of an emotional storm. But just as it’s a good idea to declutter your living and work spaces, it’s also a good idea to declutter your home interior, so you can move around with equal ease, grace, and function. constructive and productive you have. desire from your physical spaces. This openness leads to inspired ideas and inspired living.
And when you know a storm is coming, or suddenly find yourself in one, if you remember to open both doors with your energy, do so. If you don’t remember it at the time, remember to use a technique as soon as you can or feels right, to clear any residual negative energy so that you can return your inner home to its true beauty, joy, and peace. It can take time, patience and practice. But… It’s good practice, which you’ll appreciate.
Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer
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